


You've Never Owned A Cat, Have You?

by mimikyukyu



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Coitus Interruptus, Jake is a neko, Jake is also best friends with most of Marcus' cleaning staff, M/M, they're not in a relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 13:32:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2111733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mimikyukyu/pseuds/mimikyukyu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake takes one of Marcus' jabs too literally</p><p>(Based on the tumblr post "My favorite OTP headcanon rn is for Person A to be really annoyed like, “Whatever, suck my dick” and for Person B to kneel unflinchingly and pull Person A’s pants down."</p>
            </blockquote>





	You've Never Owned A Cat, Have You?

“Sir, it's in your best interest to stop testing me. I schedule appointments and deal with the press. I am not an art curator and I do not negotiate- hostilely even! With _actual_ art curators who are trying to preserve a public art collection for the masses to view as opposed to something you'd have hung in your Ocelot room.”

“Yeah and it would be in YOUR best interest to shut up and buy me another Mondrian.”

“You already HAVE Composition with Red, Blue, and Yellow and what you want me to, obtain by what I am pretty sure is illegal everywhere, is just a white canvas.”

“Well you fucking know what? Suck my dick, Jake.”

Jake's ears flicked up, eyes narrowing to razor thin slits. He walked over to his employer and sunk down to his knees.

“J-jake what the _fuck_ are you doing?” Marcus squeaked while Jake swiftly unbuttoned his pants and pushed them to the ground.

“A certain pushy, egotistical, asshole told me to “suck his dick” about... 15 seconds ago?” Jake replied, toying with the amazingly expensive silk briefs in front of him.

“So I wasn't being serious, but I am very much into whatever's goin' down.” Marcus breathed.

Jake smiled and softly blew on the growing bulge in front of him. “I wouldn't be so sure about that, Mr. Vanston.” he purred, letting a soft sigh.

“And why's that, Mister Van?” Marcus asked, eyebrow cocked.

Jake drew back, looked Marcus straight in the eyes, and opened his mouth.

* * *

Elsa hummed to herself, vacuuming the hallway rug. She blocked out the muffled argument, as she always did, smirked when she heard the thump of knees, like she always did, jerked her head up when she heard the scream, which she did not usually do. The door flung open and Marcus Vanston hobbled out with his pants around his ankles, screaming in abject terror. Elsa bit her lip and continued to clean the rug in front of her, only stopping when his PA poked his head out the door. He was grinning, tail softly swaying behind him.

 

“What did you _do_ , Mr. Van?”

Jake grinned and flicked his tail, “He told me to suck his dick.”

“And he ran away screaming?”

  
Jake stuck his tongue out.

“Oh goodness.”

“Yeah, I'm gonna go beg for my job back, do you know where he went?”

Elsa pointed in the direction Marcus ran, “I think he is going to the pool room. Would you like me to get you a drink? Or snack?”

Jake grinned, “I'm probably not going to be here much longer, get me some of that expensive sparkling water and put it by the door.”

"Duly noted, sir. I pray for your continued employment and survival."

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, his name is a pun. He's based on a Turkish Van.


End file.
